A couple years ago, BIXI arrived to Toronto. I think the idea is great. A hop on, hop off bike rental operation. Yet, I never took advantage of it. I loved my Metropass and really, who needs more than the 510? Also, I'm terrified of the idea of biking among the cars in downtown Toronto. I really don't trust the cars/drivers to not hit me, and I think many of them wouldn't trust me. I think BIXI Toronto wasn't doing super well. I see people using them, but I guess not quite enough to make it financially awesome. They're still around though, so I guess it's good enough for now.
Here in Montreal, BIXI stands are all over the place and there are tons of people tiding them. While Montreal seems to have a better infrastructure for bikers (ie. more bike lanes), for me to get to the bike lanes, I'd need to bike among cars for a bit before having a lane all to myself. Also, the 80 is pretty great and I'd have to walk up the big hill if I biked, which in itself is enough of a deterrent. But, when I heard that Bixi Montreal was having Free BIXI Sundays, I wondered if maybe I could take advantage of it and maybe go for a ride along the Lachine Canal (ie. a car free zone). A couple days ago, I did a little research to understand just exactly how the service works (ie. pricing). My idea of going for a leisurely bike along the canal, went out the door, because really, how much can you do when you're on a 30 minute time clock? Ok, so that's kind of annoying. And really, if you want to borrow the bike for a longer period of time, it kind of adds up. I suppose that then clarifies the intention of BIXIs in that they are meant for short trips, commuting, errands, etc. It's not for touring around the city, sightseeing, or getting some exercise. So, by this morning, I had forgotten about my dream to BIXI, until a little brain wave hit just a few minutes before the end of my spin class. Why not take a BIXI home from the gym? I mean, I usually like walking home as a way to cool down and keep my legs and muscles moving, but I could probably have similar benefits by biking home, right? Ok, so here's a funny reality. I've been riding a stationary bike regularly for the past year, but getting on a non-stationary bike is a little bit awkward. I haven't ridden a non-stationary bike since, errr...maybe 7 years ago? While I still know how to ride a bike, I forgot how to (dis)mount one. After getting my BIXI out from the docking station (as simple as sticking in your credit card, entering your phone number, and punching in an access code), I actually walked the bike for a couple blocks to an alleyway so that I would be able to get comfortable on the bike away from cars and people (I mean, who needs witnesses seeing you fall off a bike?!?). I rode in the alley for a bit, figuring out the gears and brakes and then ventured onto the road. I mean, I was a little nervous about riding on the open road, but there was nothing I could do about it. I popped on and off of sidewalks for a bit, but by law, I knew I was supposed to be on the road. I took a couple detours just to see a little bit more of the neighbourhood, but was kind of nervous about: 1) cars/major roads, and 2) my 30 minute timer. So, after what felt like just a a short ride, I docked nearby my house and realized that I was very close to my 30 minute mark. So hopefully, I won't get a fun little surprise on my credit card bill! Also, it showed me that BIXI isn't what I'm looking for/need. I'll need to borrow a bike from a friend for a day or something, not be on the clock.
Still, I'm glad to have taken advantage of the free ride. The bikes are easy to ride and the service is convenient. What I don't like, the the time restriction, but if your plan is to use BIXIs for their purpose, the time wouldn't be an issue.
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Monday, May 23, 2016
Notkins
Notkins is a seafood restaurant. While we went for dinner, I would probably return for the Oyster Bar. My main dish wasn't too memorable, but the oysters were good. The decor is chic, although it does seem to give off a Bay Street (ie. financial district) vibe. It seems like an after work drinks kind of place.
Price point: mid
Food (presentation/plating): 3/5
Food (taste/flavour): 3.5/5
Service: 4/5
Ambiance/decor: 4/5
Would I return again: yes (but I might try other places first)
Price point: mid
Food (presentation/plating): 3/5
Food (taste/flavour): 3.5/5
Service: 4/5
Ambiance/decor: 4/5
Would I return again: yes (but I might try other places first)
Mandy's
I really like salads. Call me silly, but I'm happy to spend money on a good salad. I know it's just a bunch of veggies thrown together, but there are so many possible combinations of ingredients and some salads are ok, whereas others can be awesome. There's nothing better than an awesome salad.
Mandy's is a cute restaurant that does gourmet (they said it, not me) salads. It's catering to the yuppy girl. Everything from its decor (cottage-y, cute, California) to some of the products that can be bought (boxed water - barf). Also, they have a location that's at the back of a women's apparel/lifestyle shop on Laurier. It's probably best as a take-out place because it's super busy around lunch. In fact it's only open during the daytime and closes before dinner. The portions are quite large...and in pretty bowls! (They know their demographic!)
Price point: low-mid (I mean, it's on the upper end of price-points for salad)
Food (presentation/plating): 3.5/5
Food (taste/flavour): 4/5
Service: 3/5
Ambiance/decor: 3.5/5
Would I return again: yes
Mandy's is a cute restaurant that does gourmet (they said it, not me) salads. It's catering to the yuppy girl. Everything from its decor (cottage-y, cute, California) to some of the products that can be bought (boxed water - barf). Also, they have a location that's at the back of a women's apparel/lifestyle shop on Laurier. It's probably best as a take-out place because it's super busy around lunch. In fact it's only open during the daytime and closes before dinner. The portions are quite large...and in pretty bowls! (They know their demographic!)
Price point: low-mid (I mean, it's on the upper end of price-points for salad)
Food (presentation/plating): 3.5/5
Food (taste/flavour): 4/5
Service: 3/5
Ambiance/decor: 3.5/5
Would I return again: yes
Mikado
Mikado is a Japanese restaurant on the (fancy) Laurier Ave. strip known for its sushi. It's quite large and the ambiance is leaning towards a traditional (at least, my interpretation of it) Japanese venue. Simple, with clean lines. The food was a little bit inconsistent. The fish was good, but the rice was cold. I was surprised that they had disposable chopsticks.
Price point: mid
Food (presentation/plating): 4/5
Food (taste/flavour): 3.5/5
Service: 3/5
Ambiance/decor: 3/5
Would I return again: maybe
Price point: mid
Food (presentation/plating): 4/5
Food (taste/flavour): 3.5/5
Service: 3/5
Ambiance/decor: 3/5
Would I return again: maybe
Les Enfants Terrible
Les Enfants Terrible is a restaurant that I flagged when I first decided on the area in which I currently live, that I wanted to check out. In nice weather, there is a large terrace (FYI, that's QC-speak for patio) that is ALWAYS busy. There's frequently people just hanging out nearby waiting for a table. Bernard is a bougey street where people like to mill about and be seen, and since I love people watching, it seems like a perfect restaurant to watch the world go by.
The food is decent, as is the service. So the big appeal of the place is still the location and vibe (of the surrounding area). It's a predictable and reliable place to dine. It's good for dining on a sunday when many other restaurants are closed.
Price point: mid
Food (presentation/plating): 3/5
Food (taste/flavour): 3.5/5
Service: 3.5/5
Ambiance/decor: 4/5
Would I return again: yes
The food is decent, as is the service. So the big appeal of the place is still the location and vibe (of the surrounding area). It's a predictable and reliable place to dine. It's good for dining on a sunday when many other restaurants are closed.
Price point: mid
Food (presentation/plating): 3/5
Food (taste/flavour): 3.5/5
Service: 3.5/5
Ambiance/decor: 4/5
Would I return again: yes
La Belle et la Boeuf
La Belle et la Boeuf is known for its burgers. They have burgers ranging from the simple, to the "epic". I had a burger with peanut butter and bananas. It sounded too crazy not to try...and it was REALLY good! It's a pretty loud restaurant drawing folks who want to eat, but also those who like the drink. It's definitely a fun outing and depending on the type of burger you get, it can get kinda messy!
Price point: low-mid (I mean, it's on the upper end of price-points for burgers, but cheap in terms of general side-down places)
Food (presentation/plating): 3/5
Food (taste/flavour): 4/5
Service: 2/5
Ambiance/decor: 2/5
Would I return again: yes (I'd be sure to make a reservation)
Price point: low-mid (I mean, it's on the upper end of price-points for burgers, but cheap in terms of general side-down places)
Food (presentation/plating): 3/5
Food (taste/flavour): 4/5
Service: 2/5
Ambiance/decor: 2/5
Would I return again: yes (I'd be sure to make a reservation)
Cartel
The menu of Cartel looks awesome. The food...nothing too special. I had heard that the tacos were good and they looked decent on the plate, but they didn't seem to have much flavour. I wonder if the point was that you were to put the hot sauces that were provided on the table. Still, I think a taco on its own should have a decent amount of flavour and that the sauce would just improve or bring out those flavours.
In addition to the tacos, I was intrigued by the Chifa. I don't think that I'd ever encountered Chifa before. A Peruvian and Chinese combo? Interesting. What we ordered was decent, but nothing special.
Price point: low-mid
Food (presentation/plating): 3.5/5
Food (taste/flavour): 2.5/5
Service: 3/5
Ambiance/decor: 4/5
Would I return again: yes, but I'd try other places first.
In addition to the tacos, I was intrigued by the Chifa. I don't think that I'd ever encountered Chifa before. A Peruvian and Chinese combo? Interesting. What we ordered was decent, but nothing special.
Price point: low-mid
Food (presentation/plating): 3.5/5
Food (taste/flavour): 2.5/5
Service: 3/5
Ambiance/decor: 4/5
Would I return again: yes, but I'd try other places first.
Burger Royal
You want good/crazy burgers? Go to Burger Royal. If you like simple burgers, they have it. If you like all the fixings, they have that too. They also crazy burgers that I appreciate because who wouldn't want to have a friend egg in your burger? Or mac and cheese? You can also choose the size of your burger and there is the option of going gluten free by having your burger in a lettuce wrap. I like that they serve the burger on top of a little wire pedestal (of sorts). I mean, it's a little stand that allows the oil and excess sauces and toppings to fall out and onto the plate below so that your burger bun doesn't get soggy or whatever. The burgers are yummy.
The poutine is nothing special. I wouldn't get it again.
There's nothing terribly wrong with the restaurant, but if I'm using the same scale as other places that are fine dining, then I have to be fair in that the service staff don't dote on you, and it's clearly a fast food place. I mean, it's everything you'd expect a fast food place to be and it does the job well, so I'm really not complaining about it.
Price point: low-mid (I mean, it's on the upper end of price-points for burgers, but cheap in terms of general side-down places)
Food (presentation/plating): 3/5
Food (taste/flavour): 4/5
Service: 3/5
Ambiance/decor: 2.5/5
Would I return again: yes
The poutine is nothing special. I wouldn't get it again.
There's nothing terribly wrong with the restaurant, but if I'm using the same scale as other places that are fine dining, then I have to be fair in that the service staff don't dote on you, and it's clearly a fast food place. I mean, it's everything you'd expect a fast food place to be and it does the job well, so I'm really not complaining about it.
Price point: low-mid (I mean, it's on the upper end of price-points for burgers, but cheap in terms of general side-down places)
Food (presentation/plating): 3/5
Food (taste/flavour): 4/5
Service: 3/5
Ambiance/decor: 2.5/5
Would I return again: yes
Piano Piano
At the end of last year, Splendido closed. Chef Barry was ready for a new adventure. Recently, Piano Piano opened in the space. The place was completely redone and seems to have a King West kind of vibe (to me, King West mean schmoozy, yuppy, trying a little too hard). The menu is markedly different from, well, fine dining tasting menu. Simple foods, but quite good. Pizzas and pastas seemed to be the main staple. The price-point is obviously more accessible.
The tenderloin carpaccio was probably the standout dish of the evening. The plating was messy, but I think that was the point. I mean the plate was FULL. I was disappointed by the cavatelli carbonara, but it could be because I've only eaten carbonara (spaghetti) once before and it was in Florence in this tiny little restaurant and it was the BEST. THING. EVER. And so, ever since then, I've built up carbonara in my head and probably as time passes, it gets to be even more of a thing. Everything else that we ordered was good. The quality was quite good, but nothing mindblowing.
The front of house mentioned that they were doing quite well as a new restaurant. The place seemed quite busy. From young professionals to folks dining for a special event, and some older clientele. I always like to see a mixture of diners. The service was a little spotty. We needed to flag people down a couple times and they didn't seem to follow up after service as I thought they should have. Maybe growing pains of a new restaurant?
Nice moment: The front of house remembered my brother and I from the Splendido days. I only dined at the restaurant twice (and years apart).
Price point: mid
Food (presentation/plating): 4/5
Food (taste/flavour): 4/5
Service: 3/5
Ambiance/decor: 3.5/5
Would I return again: yes
The tenderloin carpaccio was probably the standout dish of the evening. The plating was messy, but I think that was the point. I mean the plate was FULL. I was disappointed by the cavatelli carbonara, but it could be because I've only eaten carbonara (spaghetti) once before and it was in Florence in this tiny little restaurant and it was the BEST. THING. EVER. And so, ever since then, I've built up carbonara in my head and probably as time passes, it gets to be even more of a thing. Everything else that we ordered was good. The quality was quite good, but nothing mindblowing.
The front of house mentioned that they were doing quite well as a new restaurant. The place seemed quite busy. From young professionals to folks dining for a special event, and some older clientele. I always like to see a mixture of diners. The service was a little spotty. We needed to flag people down a couple times and they didn't seem to follow up after service as I thought they should have. Maybe growing pains of a new restaurant?
Nice moment: The front of house remembered my brother and I from the Splendido days. I only dined at the restaurant twice (and years apart).
Price point: mid
Food (presentation/plating): 4/5
Food (taste/flavour): 4/5
Service: 3/5
Ambiance/decor: 3.5/5
Would I return again: yes
Dandylion
I went to Dandylion awhile back. It was a low key restaurant, but with a really cute vibe. Kinda of whimsical with wood and concrete walls, flowers and plants and mirrors. It reminded me of NYC somehow. It was one of the best meals that I've had in a long time.
Price point: mid
Food (presentation/plating): 4.5/5
Food (taste/flavour): 5/5
Service: 4.5/5
Ambiance/decor: 5/5
Would I return again: Definitely!
Price point: mid
Food (presentation/plating): 4.5/5
Food (taste/flavour): 5/5
Service: 4.5/5
Ambiance/decor: 5/5
Would I return again: Definitely!
Saint-Andre
The Saint-Andre cheese is a pasteurized cow milk's cheese from France. As described on the label from the cheese shop:
"Enrichi de creme. Gout de creme fraiche. Riche et fondant. Legerement crayeux au coeur. 1er service. Champagne, cidre. Vin blanc doux et petillant." (Translation, from google).
This cheese was recommended to me after telling the person in the shop that 'd tried a lot of cheeses in the brie section and wondered what else they might recommend. The cheese is really creamy, and spreadable. Lovely with a baguette! It tasted a little bit like cream cheese, but with a slight sour note? It doesn't have too distinct of a flavour, which again, works for me.
"Enrichi de creme. Gout de creme fraiche. Riche et fondant. Legerement crayeux au coeur. 1er service. Champagne, cidre. Vin blanc doux et petillant." (Translation, from google).
This cheese was recommended to me after telling the person in the shop that 'd tried a lot of cheeses in the brie section and wondered what else they might recommend. The cheese is really creamy, and spreadable. Lovely with a baguette! It tasted a little bit like cream cheese, but with a slight sour note? It doesn't have too distinct of a flavour, which again, works for me.
Valbert
Back on the cheese train!
(Also, the market is hopping again! The flowers vendors are out in full force and people are buying plants by the cart full!)
The Valbert is a cow milk cheese from the Fromagerie Lehmann in Lac-Saint-Jean, QC.
As written on the label provided by the cheese shop:
"Fromage fermier a pate ferme pressee et demi-cuite. Croute affinee. Affinage de 6 mois. 2e service. Vin: Blanc fruite et doux." (Translation, by google).
I was telling the person at the cheese shop that I wanted a hard cheese, and that I'd tried a couple of the cheddars that they had, but wanted something different. And this is what was recommended. Well, of course, a couple were recommended, but this is the one that I went with. She described it as having notes of mushrooms, and after tasting it, it seems to sit on my tongue a little nicer than the other one (which I might end up trying in the future). Unsurprisingly, I barely taste mushrooms. And perhaps I only taste them because I know I'm supposed to. It tastes creamy, which I like. And kinda like cheddar. The flavour isn't too strong, just...errr...cheesy?!?
Anyway, it makes for a good snack.
(Also, the market is hopping again! The flowers vendors are out in full force and people are buying plants by the cart full!)
The Valbert is a cow milk cheese from the Fromagerie Lehmann in Lac-Saint-Jean, QC.
As written on the label provided by the cheese shop:
"Fromage fermier a pate ferme pressee et demi-cuite. Croute affinee. Affinage de 6 mois. 2e service. Vin: Blanc fruite et doux." (Translation, by google).
I was telling the person at the cheese shop that I wanted a hard cheese, and that I'd tried a couple of the cheddars that they had, but wanted something different. And this is what was recommended. Well, of course, a couple were recommended, but this is the one that I went with. She described it as having notes of mushrooms, and after tasting it, it seems to sit on my tongue a little nicer than the other one (which I might end up trying in the future). Unsurprisingly, I barely taste mushrooms. And perhaps I only taste them because I know I'm supposed to. It tastes creamy, which I like. And kinda like cheddar. The flavour isn't too strong, just...errr...cheesy?!?
Anyway, it makes for a good snack.
Sunday, May 22, 2016
The First Monday in May
It was AWESOME.
The film is a document about the lead up to the 2015 Met Gala, which served as a fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute, and the opening of China: Through the Looking Glass.
I found it fascinating to get a peak into the planning of this massive event and all of the details and moving parts that are associated with it. The preparation and planning of the art exhibit was equally interesting and while I knew that curating an exhibit was a lot of work and very thoughtful, I didn't realize the scope of what mounting an exhibit entails. The amount of planning, research, consultation, marketing, promotion...the different components (e.g., lighting, staging, sound). It was so impressive.
In addition to the leading forces for the Met Ball and the exhibition, Anna Wintour and Andrew Bolton, respectively, I appreciated that there was a strong collaborative aspect to both including many talents including Baz Luhrmann and Wong Kar Wai, respectively.
And of course the fashion. The fashion throughout the movie was fantastic. Everything from the day to day clothes that every person on screen was wearing (I had a major "a-ha!" moment when I found out who Andrew Bolton's partner was), to the beautiful pieces in the exhibit, and the pieces worn to the gala. I had some serious clothing/style envy.
From beginning to end, I thought the film was well done. Of course the subject matter appealed to me, but I thought the narrative of the film and cheeky little moments (hint: dragon lady) were spot on.
So yeah, if you can, go watch the film.
- picture courtesy of www.firstmondayinmay.com
Saturday, May 21, 2016
OSM
I attended an OSM concert earlier this year for the first time. I've been wanting to go for awhile, but I kind of pick and choose concerts based on the programme. There was a concert earlier with the Rach 2 and Berlioz's Symphonie fantastique - two pieces that I love. The soloist for the Rach 2 was the winner of the Grand Prix du Concours OSM Manuvie 2015, Scott MacIsaac. He did a great job.
I think it would be interesting to attend a youth competition. When I lived in CH, I attended the Prix de Lausanne each year and back in T.O., I attended the Erik Bruhn Prize once as well. Each were equally impressive and inspiring. Here in Montreal, I'm going to thinking about what opportunities are available to see talented youth showing off their talents.
This concert was also the first time that I was in the Maison symphonique de Montreal in Place des Arts - a beautiful concert hall. It reminded me of Roy Thomson Hall with the light wood, choir above and behind the stage, and the organ just above that.
Anyway, it was a lovely night with a nice variety of people in attendance. I hope to go to another concert again soon...maybe even one conducted by Kent Nagano.
I think it would be interesting to attend a youth competition. When I lived in CH, I attended the Prix de Lausanne each year and back in T.O., I attended the Erik Bruhn Prize once as well. Each were equally impressive and inspiring. Here in Montreal, I'm going to thinking about what opportunities are available to see talented youth showing off their talents.
This concert was also the first time that I was in the Maison symphonique de Montreal in Place des Arts - a beautiful concert hall. It reminded me of Roy Thomson Hall with the light wood, choir above and behind the stage, and the organ just above that.
Anyway, it was a lovely night with a nice variety of people in attendance. I hope to go to another concert again soon...maybe even one conducted by Kent Nagano.
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Year 2 in review
Hi team,
I'm still here. Just very occupied with life. As I should be, I suppose. Each time I post, I talk about how I want to make blogging more of a priority. And clearly I have not stayed true to my word. But writing this post is progress of some sort, I suppose.
Anyway, I just finished up my second year at this new gig. Gig meaning a new job in a new city, and kind of a new life. And recall that I follow an academic calendar rather than the Gregorian calendar.
It's been interesting. I'm pretty reflective by nature, and the past two years have been an intense journey in self-discovery. Although I have had many different experiences and been fortunate enough to experience many things that most people may not have the opportunity to experience, these past two years have stretched me in many ways and I realize that my sphere has actually been quite limited in certain ways. I guess it's one of those situations where "the more you know, the more you know that you don't know".
In a nutshell, I guess I would describe Year 1 as SHOCK. It was a complete shock to my system. I was so naive commencing on this journey. My self-confidence was really rattled. My understanding of identity was questioned. There were many highs, but quite a few lows. For the first time, my body physically reacted to the change and stress. I'd like to think that I have faced some adversity and pressure in the past, but I guess in retrospect those challenges were nothing. I used to think that I thrive under pressure and while I still think that is true to a certain extent, it turns out that I have some limits. While there were never moments last year that I felt like it was too much, there was clearly something going on because my body signaled as such. By late fall, I was regularly getting hives on my body. At first, I thought that it was some sort of allergic reaction, but based on when the hives would appear and how long they would last that clearly wasn't the case. Luckily, they were localized in an area that wasn't visible, so I wasn't self-conscious about it. Luckily they weren't painful, and they tended to go away after a couple hours. They were sort of itchy, but that's about it. I had never gotten hives prior to last year, so when they first popped up, I wasn't sure what they were. It kind of freaked me out, but the lovely friend that google is helped me figure things out. I also had two other strange stress reactions last year. It was odd because they both happened in the springtime during times when I wasn't feeling particularly overwhelmed or anything. They also happened randomly, appearing first thing in the morning. And it was darn scary. Nothing dangerous or to really be concerned about, but the fact that it never happened to me in the past and was happening during a time of change and when I was already feeling relatively insecure...well, it was tough. And this had symptoms that I couldn't hide. But, since it was at a time of year that I didn't have to go in to the office (definitely perk of the job), I just hid out at home and relaxed.
The silver lining to all of this, I guess is knowing that I'm not invisible. I mean, that sounds obvious, but I actually think that I'm invisible. I still don't really know what my limits are (and I do like trying to push them), but I'm still more aware of...I don't know. Something. Also, this year, I haven't gotten any hives, so I guess something's better. I did have the other reaction once this year, and I remember that it happened on a day that I was feeling particular stressed. And the reaction didn't seem quite as intense. I also didn't have to go in to work that day, and it seemed to go away quicker than it did last year. And because I'm a little bizarre, it was kind of interesting to experience those reactions. Again, I don't see either of them as particularly worrisome as they didn't have serious side-affects. It was kind of like the stress was lurking in me, and it just kind of came out in this subtle way. A little "poke" from my body to say, "Hey, you're going through so crazy stuff, huh?"I didn't have anything acute. No panic attacks, issues with breathing, nothing like that.
Last year, I learned a lot about what's important to me. I realized that I took some things for granted. I moved to a different environment with a different culture, and quickly figured out that there were some things about where/how I grew up that I really value. So it made me think about these things and just how important they are, whether or not I can compromise in some of these areas, and WHY they are so important to me. I still don't think that I have any definite answers, but I'm more aware of the issues that exist and realistic about the fact that it's a process and journey that I can't just snap my fingers and it will all be sorted out.
And that's kind of one of the big things that I left Year 1 and entered Year 2 with. The fact that I had completely unrealistic expectations about how my new life would unfold. Or at least the speed at which everything would unfold. I still hope to move in the direction that I originally envisioned, but I know that it'll take longer to get there.
So I started Year 2 optimistic and with a fresh attitude of trying to stay in the moment. To stop and smell the roses and just soak up everything that was happening and not think too far ahead. I mean, I do enjoy the day to day (another lovely take home from Year 1, as tough as it was, is that I love what I do and I'm so happy that I'm doing it. That I've worked so hard to get to this point, and now that I'm here...well, it's as awesome as I thought it would be) but I'm really good at not dwelling on the things that are awesome (because they're already awesome, so why 'waste' your time on them? ...yes, I know this sounds a little ridiculous) and focus my efforts/energy on things that I want to be better. I definitely acknowledge awesomeness, but like to make everything awesome and enjoy the challenge of making things awesome, so it often seems like I'm focusing on the negative more than the positive. But it's not as though I'm living in doom and gloom all the time.
This journey seems to be following the stages of grief. Now, I'm not sure if it's five or seven stages that I'm going through, and if I'm going through them in the right order, but Year 2 had some moments of anger. Since Year 1 was a lot of discovery and learning about my new context, Year 2 was kind of like a, "Now I know what the reality is, and I don't necessarily like it or can easily change it, so I'm just angry about it all". Ha. So there were moments of frustration this year...feeling stuck. Wondering why things were the way that they were, why I can't change them, or being annoyed that the change process took longer than I believe it should take. (Did I mention that I'm also impatient? ...which is kind of weird because other people have said that they belief me to be a very patient person. They also see me as very calm, cool under pressure, bubbly, extroverted...so what's going on there? I do have moments of each, but I wouldn't think that they are my hallmark traits.)
Through this two year process, I am reminded of the importance of "people". Friends, confidants, mentors. A support system. I'm very good at thinking through things on my own and think that I'm pretty good at covering all angled, but it's still nice to have a sounding board or someone who's been through it provide support. Since embarking on this journey, I've had a couple people suggest that I speak to someone about some of the issues that I'm thinking about. A therapist or counselor of some sort. It's been interesting receiving these suggestions, because it's never been suggested to me prior. I had to sort though my own misconceptions and biases about this, and even that process of thinking about that and speaking with different people who have/continue to work with therapist has been a great learning experience and chance to broaden my thinking. I'm at a place where I feel quite content with the situation and how I'm handling things, but like with most things, it's nice to know about different options. That being said, I want to reiterate how much I've valued speaking with trusted advisors about some of the questions and issues that I'm trying to sort though. To be reassured that the things that I'm thinking about are reasonable and to be reminded to celebrate the successes...no matter how small they may seem.
So my life is still kind of, ummm, interesting. I'm still trying to figure things out. I mean, I still don't feel settled into my life. I'm not fully comfortable in the city that I live in. I like it, but I don't love it. And it's different from what I'm used to. The job is good, but causes me anxiety. BUT, one of my "A-ha" moment a couple weeks ago brought me to the stage of acceptance. One of my challenges has been figuring out a work-life balance. It's kind of a thing in my profession (I imagine it's also a thing in many other professions, but some not as much). I really value work-life balance and have a certain idea of what they entailed. I'm not sure if what I imagine is completely unattainable (partly, because part of what I imagine is something for the future), but it's something that I'm still working towards. The eureka moment came when I realized that I don't have a 9-5 job where I only work when I'm at work. That I don't have a job that I show up to work every day and know exactly what I need to do, because what I need to do is the same day in and day out. That I don't have a job that's consistent. That it's Monday to Friday, 12 months of the year (with 2 weeks of vacation somewhere). My job doesn't graph as a horizontal line.
I have a job with significant peaks and significant troughs. I recently had a couple days where I worked until 4am (Year 2 revelation - my regular bus route has a night bus! So I didn't have to leave work in time to catch what I thought was the last bus of the night! ...yes, I have also just taken a taxi home too, but when I leave work at embarrassingly late hours like that, I'm usually skipping out of the building feeling really fulfilled and loving the fresh air and walk to the bus stop.). But I also have the luxury of working from home pretty much whenever I want. And taking vacation pretty much whenever I want. I have a job that's super stimulating, but also entails rejection on a regular basis. And I accept that. I accept that my my work graph is bumpy. But for me, it's figuring out how to keep the range of that graph at a minimum.
Anyway, so that's kind of where I'm at right now. Things are good. There are still lots that I'm not super happy with, but in the grand scheme of things, everything is a-ok.
I'm on a summer schedule now, which includes an experiment - not going in to the office one weekday a week (in Year 1, I sometimes went in to the office on weekends, in Year 2, I didn't at all, so that was some nice progress). Whether than means working from home or only working 4 days a week (I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with emails in an efficient and non-all-emcompassing manner), I'm not sure, but I think it'll be a good routine to get into for this next little bit while the weather is nice (I have grand plans for my balconies - I have three...well, one I'm not going to worry about, but the other two are going to be super - one already is with different planters boxes filled with lovely flowers and such...but I also hear that it might snow this week...sigh.).
Hopefully with this one post, it'll get me back into the groove of blogging. I should start small and do some restaurant reviews or mentions of different events/outings that I've had. I haven't done a ton of traveling, so that's one less thing to worry about.
*L*
I'm still here. Just very occupied with life. As I should be, I suppose. Each time I post, I talk about how I want to make blogging more of a priority. And clearly I have not stayed true to my word. But writing this post is progress of some sort, I suppose.
Anyway, I just finished up my second year at this new gig. Gig meaning a new job in a new city, and kind of a new life. And recall that I follow an academic calendar rather than the Gregorian calendar.
It's been interesting. I'm pretty reflective by nature, and the past two years have been an intense journey in self-discovery. Although I have had many different experiences and been fortunate enough to experience many things that most people may not have the opportunity to experience, these past two years have stretched me in many ways and I realize that my sphere has actually been quite limited in certain ways. I guess it's one of those situations where "the more you know, the more you know that you don't know".
In a nutshell, I guess I would describe Year 1 as SHOCK. It was a complete shock to my system. I was so naive commencing on this journey. My self-confidence was really rattled. My understanding of identity was questioned. There were many highs, but quite a few lows. For the first time, my body physically reacted to the change and stress. I'd like to think that I have faced some adversity and pressure in the past, but I guess in retrospect those challenges were nothing. I used to think that I thrive under pressure and while I still think that is true to a certain extent, it turns out that I have some limits. While there were never moments last year that I felt like it was too much, there was clearly something going on because my body signaled as such. By late fall, I was regularly getting hives on my body. At first, I thought that it was some sort of allergic reaction, but based on when the hives would appear and how long they would last that clearly wasn't the case. Luckily, they were localized in an area that wasn't visible, so I wasn't self-conscious about it. Luckily they weren't painful, and they tended to go away after a couple hours. They were sort of itchy, but that's about it. I had never gotten hives prior to last year, so when they first popped up, I wasn't sure what they were. It kind of freaked me out, but the lovely friend that google is helped me figure things out. I also had two other strange stress reactions last year. It was odd because they both happened in the springtime during times when I wasn't feeling particularly overwhelmed or anything. They also happened randomly, appearing first thing in the morning. And it was darn scary. Nothing dangerous or to really be concerned about, but the fact that it never happened to me in the past and was happening during a time of change and when I was already feeling relatively insecure...well, it was tough. And this had symptoms that I couldn't hide. But, since it was at a time of year that I didn't have to go in to the office (definitely perk of the job), I just hid out at home and relaxed.
The silver lining to all of this, I guess is knowing that I'm not invisible. I mean, that sounds obvious, but I actually think that I'm invisible. I still don't really know what my limits are (and I do like trying to push them), but I'm still more aware of...I don't know. Something. Also, this year, I haven't gotten any hives, so I guess something's better. I did have the other reaction once this year, and I remember that it happened on a day that I was feeling particular stressed. And the reaction didn't seem quite as intense. I also didn't have to go in to work that day, and it seemed to go away quicker than it did last year. And because I'm a little bizarre, it was kind of interesting to experience those reactions. Again, I don't see either of them as particularly worrisome as they didn't have serious side-affects. It was kind of like the stress was lurking in me, and it just kind of came out in this subtle way. A little "poke" from my body to say, "Hey, you're going through so crazy stuff, huh?"I didn't have anything acute. No panic attacks, issues with breathing, nothing like that.
Last year, I learned a lot about what's important to me. I realized that I took some things for granted. I moved to a different environment with a different culture, and quickly figured out that there were some things about where/how I grew up that I really value. So it made me think about these things and just how important they are, whether or not I can compromise in some of these areas, and WHY they are so important to me. I still don't think that I have any definite answers, but I'm more aware of the issues that exist and realistic about the fact that it's a process and journey that I can't just snap my fingers and it will all be sorted out.
And that's kind of one of the big things that I left Year 1 and entered Year 2 with. The fact that I had completely unrealistic expectations about how my new life would unfold. Or at least the speed at which everything would unfold. I still hope to move in the direction that I originally envisioned, but I know that it'll take longer to get there.
So I started Year 2 optimistic and with a fresh attitude of trying to stay in the moment. To stop and smell the roses and just soak up everything that was happening and not think too far ahead. I mean, I do enjoy the day to day (another lovely take home from Year 1, as tough as it was, is that I love what I do and I'm so happy that I'm doing it. That I've worked so hard to get to this point, and now that I'm here...well, it's as awesome as I thought it would be) but I'm really good at not dwelling on the things that are awesome (because they're already awesome, so why 'waste' your time on them? ...yes, I know this sounds a little ridiculous) and focus my efforts/energy on things that I want to be better. I definitely acknowledge awesomeness, but like to make everything awesome and enjoy the challenge of making things awesome, so it often seems like I'm focusing on the negative more than the positive. But it's not as though I'm living in doom and gloom all the time.
This journey seems to be following the stages of grief. Now, I'm not sure if it's five or seven stages that I'm going through, and if I'm going through them in the right order, but Year 2 had some moments of anger. Since Year 1 was a lot of discovery and learning about my new context, Year 2 was kind of like a, "Now I know what the reality is, and I don't necessarily like it or can easily change it, so I'm just angry about it all". Ha. So there were moments of frustration this year...feeling stuck. Wondering why things were the way that they were, why I can't change them, or being annoyed that the change process took longer than I believe it should take. (Did I mention that I'm also impatient? ...which is kind of weird because other people have said that they belief me to be a very patient person. They also see me as very calm, cool under pressure, bubbly, extroverted...so what's going on there? I do have moments of each, but I wouldn't think that they are my hallmark traits.)
Through this two year process, I am reminded of the importance of "people". Friends, confidants, mentors. A support system. I'm very good at thinking through things on my own and think that I'm pretty good at covering all angled, but it's still nice to have a sounding board or someone who's been through it provide support. Since embarking on this journey, I've had a couple people suggest that I speak to someone about some of the issues that I'm thinking about. A therapist or counselor of some sort. It's been interesting receiving these suggestions, because it's never been suggested to me prior. I had to sort though my own misconceptions and biases about this, and even that process of thinking about that and speaking with different people who have/continue to work with therapist has been a great learning experience and chance to broaden my thinking. I'm at a place where I feel quite content with the situation and how I'm handling things, but like with most things, it's nice to know about different options. That being said, I want to reiterate how much I've valued speaking with trusted advisors about some of the questions and issues that I'm trying to sort though. To be reassured that the things that I'm thinking about are reasonable and to be reminded to celebrate the successes...no matter how small they may seem.
So my life is still kind of, ummm, interesting. I'm still trying to figure things out. I mean, I still don't feel settled into my life. I'm not fully comfortable in the city that I live in. I like it, but I don't love it. And it's different from what I'm used to. The job is good, but causes me anxiety. BUT, one of my "A-ha" moment a couple weeks ago brought me to the stage of acceptance. One of my challenges has been figuring out a work-life balance. It's kind of a thing in my profession (I imagine it's also a thing in many other professions, but some not as much). I really value work-life balance and have a certain idea of what they entailed. I'm not sure if what I imagine is completely unattainable (partly, because part of what I imagine is something for the future), but it's something that I'm still working towards. The eureka moment came when I realized that I don't have a 9-5 job where I only work when I'm at work. That I don't have a job that I show up to work every day and know exactly what I need to do, because what I need to do is the same day in and day out. That I don't have a job that's consistent. That it's Monday to Friday, 12 months of the year (with 2 weeks of vacation somewhere). My job doesn't graph as a horizontal line.
I have a job with significant peaks and significant troughs. I recently had a couple days where I worked until 4am (Year 2 revelation - my regular bus route has a night bus! So I didn't have to leave work in time to catch what I thought was the last bus of the night! ...yes, I have also just taken a taxi home too, but when I leave work at embarrassingly late hours like that, I'm usually skipping out of the building feeling really fulfilled and loving the fresh air and walk to the bus stop.). But I also have the luxury of working from home pretty much whenever I want. And taking vacation pretty much whenever I want. I have a job that's super stimulating, but also entails rejection on a regular basis. And I accept that. I accept that my my work graph is bumpy. But for me, it's figuring out how to keep the range of that graph at a minimum.
Anyway, so that's kind of where I'm at right now. Things are good. There are still lots that I'm not super happy with, but in the grand scheme of things, everything is a-ok.
I'm on a summer schedule now, which includes an experiment - not going in to the office one weekday a week (in Year 1, I sometimes went in to the office on weekends, in Year 2, I didn't at all, so that was some nice progress). Whether than means working from home or only working 4 days a week (I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with emails in an efficient and non-all-emcompassing manner), I'm not sure, but I think it'll be a good routine to get into for this next little bit while the weather is nice (I have grand plans for my balconies - I have three...well, one I'm not going to worry about, but the other two are going to be super - one already is with different planters boxes filled with lovely flowers and such...but I also hear that it might snow this week...sigh.).
Hopefully with this one post, it'll get me back into the groove of blogging. I should start small and do some restaurant reviews or mentions of different events/outings that I've had. I haven't done a ton of traveling, so that's one less thing to worry about.
*L*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)